How to cheat on your spouse :: essays research papers

How To Cheat On Your Spouse "Oh the weather outside is frightful, but your thighs are so delightful. She has no place to go, let her blow, let her blow, let her blow." I caught a bit of the holiday spirit on the way to the mall and began humming the Christmas song while driving down the highway. Somewhere along the way I changed the words a bit and laughed. Don't I wish! I mean, my secretary was a cutie, and yes, she would have made an excellent partner in the sack. But there was a little problem: I was married with three children, and the little woman at home frowned upon marital transgressions. I know that for a fact, because it wasn't all that long ago that she caught me in the act. That was not a pretty scene. After some time and counseling, we mended fences, but I got the ultimatum: even flirting with another woman was cause for her to give me the pink slip, kissing her, my kids, our house and most of our bank account, goodbye. I took those words to heart, and have been a model husband for more than half a decade. Then there are guys like Artie, a manager in the Accounting Department at the company where I'm employed. On the outside he's a pleasant enough guy in his early 30s with a wife and two lovely children. Behind the scenes, though, he's a wolf. A certifiable louse. He's strayed more times than a barnyard cat, and somehow has never been caught. I thought of this while driving to the mall, and given my past history, decided to ask him how he does it. I didn't think he would answer, but it wouldn't hurt to ask. So I did. Much to my surprise, Artie was agreeable, and over a few beers at our local Irish pub, we spoke about the ins and outs, so to speak, of cheating on one's spouse. What follows are his frank answers to my probing questions. Q: We've talked in the past about some of your, well, dalliances, and I wondered if you could answer a few questions, anonymously, of course. A: Ask away! Q: Do you love your wife? A: Of course. She's a darling, the mother of my children, and a great friend too. Q: Then why...? A: (Interrupting) Why do I, uh, stray?